Spouse was not happy.
First, I was forcing him to play bridge with me at the Riverside in a Mixed Pairs event, when his preference was to watch a Norwich City football match live on TV in the local pub.
Secondly, on arrival at the club, the barrel of real ale was empty and, worse, no further supplies were on order.
“Who’s in charge of bar admin at the moment?”
he demanded of no one in particular.
“Temporarily, it’s Sailor Seth,”
announced another disgruntled real-ale bridge player sitting on a bar stool, sipping irritably at a pint of lager.
“Oh no, surely not Seth, no wonder there’s no beer. The old fox will have drunk most of it himself,”
observed Spouse unkindly.
I had my usual glass of red wine and Spouse contented himself with a bottled beer.
This board occurred during the session:
Dealer North. Game All.
I arrogantly considered my opening bid in the South seat, wrongly assuming that the auction would start with two passes from North and East.
My hand contained eleven likely playing tricks.
I decided to calculate the Clear Cut Trick (CCT) count and eventually came up with ten CCTs — six in the heart suit and four more from the minors.
At this point, I decided against any exotic bid and planned to open two diamonds, which is artificial and the strongest bid in our system.
All this thought was to no avail; I noticed that Spouse had already opened the bidding with one spade followed by a pass from East.
I thought it was time for a more basic approach and simply bid four no-trumps — Roman Key Card Blackwood.
Spouse bid five spades showing two key cards, as well as the queen of his assumed trump suit.
He clearly held the top three spade honours, so I held the remaining aces.
I could now count three spade tricks, seven hearts, three diamonds, and a club — so a final bid of seven no-trumps completed the auction.
Auction (Table 1)
| West | North | East | South |
|---|---|---|---|
| — | 1♠️ | Pass | 4NT¹ |
| — | 5♠️² | Pass | 7NT |
| All Pass |
¹ RKCB
² Two key cards and the queen of the assumed trump suit.
West led the five of clubs and there now appeared to be a total of eighteen winners to take, but unfortunately thirteen was the maximum allowed under bridge rules.
The traveller revealed seven no-trumps was the popular contract, with seven hearts as a minority alternative.
Over the years I recall many massive deals, but the combined count of 37 high-card points between dummy and declarer and the amazing number of likely top tricks were among the highest totals I have ever encountered.
At the end of the session, George and Sarah were discussing the board as we passed them in the bar.
Their auction had been substantially longer, but reached the same conclusion.
Auction (Table 2 — George & Sarah)
| West | North (George) | East | South (Sarah) |
|---|---|---|---|
| — | 1♠️ | Pass | 2♥️ |
| — | 4♥️ | Pass | 4NT¹ |
| — | 5♠️² | Pass | 5NT³ |
| — | 6♠️⁴ | Pass | 7NT |
| All Pass |
¹ Blackwood
² One ace
³ King asking
⁴ One king
In the hostelry later, Millie revealed that she was rather cross with Justin.
At their table, the auction was less ambitious: again there was no opposition bidding.
Justin opened one spade, and Millie jumped to three hearts to show a self-supporting suit.
Justin used RKCB to agree hearts and ask about aces and the king of hearts.
Millie bid five diamonds showing three aces and the king of hearts, and Justin signed off in the heart grand slam.
Auction (Table 3 — Justin & Millie)
| West | North (Justin) | East | South (Millie) |
|---|---|---|---|
| — | 1♠️ | Pass | 3♥️ |
| — | 4NT¹ | Pass | 5♦️² |
| — | 7♥️ | All Pass |
¹ RKCB
² One or four key cards
I decided to stay out of their dispute as I couldn’t see why, with her massive holding outside the spade suit, Millie didn’t convert to seven no-trumps herself.
Spouse meanwhile had discovered that the Canaries had won the big match.
In celebration, he was making up for lost time — several pints of real ale disappeared in rapid succession, and he became distinctly tiddly.
We took a taxi home, and by the time I climbed into bed Spouse was fast asleep, snuggled up under the duvet.
For him, the disappointment of the pre-bridge drinks and a missed football match had been forgotten.
As far as he was concerned,
“All’s Well that Ends Well.”
